Rant

I am so apathetic. So so so SO apathetic.

I don't even want to type this, strictly because I don't care, but maybe something good will come of it.

I'm so tired of college.

I am so tired of working.

I am so tired of people bitching at me for no reason.

I can't stand anything anymore. All I do is want to sleep and not be bothered.

I always thought that I would be so amazingly successful in school. I did amazing up until this year. I just can't stand anything. I don't know what I want out of life anymore. I just want a job already. Ugh.

An update.

I was tired of eating protein, PROTEIN, PROTEIN!! I'm sorry. I tried the ABS Diet, I had an okay first week (2 pound loss) but I can't stick to it. It has an emphasis on protein but I just can't do it. The plan wants you to eat so much and it just doesn't work for me. I tried and I am done with it.

However, after watching Lauren's posts on YouTube, am going to give Paul McKenna a try. I started yesterday and can honestly say that it is easy and truly works well! I even went to Olive Garden tonight and had a delicious Portabello Mushroom Ravioli. I had a small salad, a bread stick, and 3 of the 10 raviolis. I ate slowly and mindfully and was very comfortable when I was finished. I felt so great about myself. This would be the first time I went to Olive Garden and not leave completely stuffed with food. I used to eat AT LEAST 3 breadsticks and all of my entree and also a desert (usually Tiramisu). I am so far loving this way of eating, I know I can stick to this. I ordered the book and am waiting on it and the CD in the mail :) I think that this will work for me primarily because it doesn't make me obsessed about food. I don't need to read labels, servings, have certain food, etc. You eat what you want, you eat sensibly, slowly, savor the food and exercise. Woo! I need to make an update video so I might do that tonight.

A small update.

Ok, these few days have been ridiculous. Jan 1st was great. I had everything according to plan, worked out, everything.

The 2nd rules around and I was up at 4 am puking and (well you know, the other end). I didn't end up falling back asleep til around 9 am. I then woke back up at 10, more of that stuff and that continued throughout the day. I couldn't keep ANYTHING down, not even tea. I had only water for the whole day until around midnight, I did manage a few strawberries down.

The one thing that I am a little pissed about is what I ended up throwing up; my strawberry protein drinks. OMG, just typing about them makes me turn my face in disgust. They are so good, a brand called Gold Standard. I can't even be near the scent without thinking about puking now :/

Today was a little better but still bad. I got roughly two hours of sleep, called off of work and tried to just get some rest. I managed a few hours without a disruption. I did puke a few times today but now I'm feeling a lot better and got some food down.

I'm really pissed about the protein drinks because:
A) That shit is expensive.
B) I already have a hard time getting protein, don't eat much meat.
C) I did LOVE them and they even were like dessert.

So blah, I have been eating a little, but still on plan. I just felt horrible the past few days. I'm hoping next week is a lot better :(

Have a great weekend, guys.

Before Videos

Hello everyone. I am about to post my before pictures starting today. I really think this will help me look at things and hopefully show how far I've come. It takes a lot for me to do this, but here it goes.

Before Photos

(it's too big for the blog, so I just posted the link)

My weight as of today (after two weeks of holiday binging) is 219.8 :(.

I know I will lose this weight in 2009!

Day 1

My first day on my new way of eating has been going great. I haven't felt hungry at all today, or overly full either. I am hoping this all works out in the long run :)

New Years

I hope everyone had a safe and fun holiday.

I worked tonight but then enjoyed some wine and rock band with some friends. It was good :)

Look forward to a video tomorrow. BOM BOM BOM.

New plan!

New Software

Just trying out some new software I got for Mac. It’s called MacJournal and it’s basically a journal you can publish to a blog site and what not. Seems interesting so far.